Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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