I need help removing her.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
even my farts smell like vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
