I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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