This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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