woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
