I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
