i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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