Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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