Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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