So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she peed on how many people?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
