yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
