i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
