Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
