She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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