Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize