Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
