Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
