She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
