i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
