He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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