I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
