Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
