As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
