Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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