he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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