it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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