I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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