Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
