I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
