Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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