Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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