just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize