You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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