I'm really into asian looking animals
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
