I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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