...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
