I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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