Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
