I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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