this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
