dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
organizing the empties. That sober.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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