Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
