I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
