u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
