we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
