whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
