gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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