if you like me you must not know who I am
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
