and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
