Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
