Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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