ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
