apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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