i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
