can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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