what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize